Remember the story The Pearl? Now, I love Steinbeck, but I’m sure I wasn’t the only 6th grader to be scarred by that parable of the devastating consequences of sudden enrichment. Here, to undo some of that, an alternative telling.The Pearl: Take 2 The pearl diver rose out of the water, holding in his hands a gem of…
A Tale of Two Cheesecakes (paleo, vegan)
Rosita was a friendly young cheese monster, as far as cheese monsters go. She would chase small children around with a mouth full of muenster, but it was all in good fun and when the chasing stopped she always let the kids nosh on her melted roqueforts and camemberts. As she grew older, she had the…
Classic Chocolate Chip Cookies (paleo, vegan)
Once upon a time, there lived a classic princess in a classic fairytale kingdom. The princess wore classic pink ballroom gowns and classic sparkling diamond tiaras, and even carried around a pink wand which churned out classic spells every so often. The princess seemed to know that her world was too cookie-cutter and pop-up-book-esque to…
Kabocha Squash Muffins (paleo, AIP, vegan)
Mama Bear sat with Papa Bear, rocking back and forth in their porch swing. “She did it again,” said Mama Bear. Papa Bear put down his newspaper in consternation. “No! Not again!” he said. “Yes,” said Mama, shaking her head. “That girl. I just don’t know what to do with her, I tell you.” Papa Bear…
Almond Paste Poppyseed Tart (Mohnkuchen) (paleo, vegan)
It was a dark and stormy night—wait a second that’s too cliché, let me try that again. The nocturnal period of dreams and subconscious musings was as black as the inside of a cow’s teat whilst moisture-laden cumulonimbus clouds gathered above the rock-lined fortress, a veritable Pentagon of impenetrability with its stainless steel gates and…
Linzer-Torte Cookies (paleo, AIP, vegan)
In the city of Linz, Austria, under the smallest of the bridges crossing the Danube as it winds its way from Germany towards Hungary lives a family of trolls – three brothers, to be precise, formerly of the Berlin bridges but forced to move during the monster raids of ’76. For the past several years, the trolls have lived…
Chocolate-Dipped Macaroons (paleo, AIP, vegan)
Hoppy the Penguin was an entrepreneur. Now, you might think it unlikely that penguins would be entrepreneurs, and you would be right. Penguins are conservative. They wear only black and white, get exactly twelve hours of sleep a day, and any penguin who bucks the colony gets excommunicated to Alaska. But Hoppy wasn’t like the others. Even as…
Scottish Short-Dragons (paleo, AIP, vegan)
One winter in the northern climes of Scotland, two dragons sat around their mountain lair, contemplating their empty larder. “Bummer,” said Azkook, gazing glumly into the pantry. “Not even any dried human jerky or jellied knees left.” “What happened to our backup supply?” asked Razkook. Azkook looked at his scaly toes guiltily. “I was watching Top Chef…
