Jake watched as Aunt Nell grated the fresh coconuts he and Jenny had fetched from the beach. Using a serrated tool that Uncle Lonnie had hammered into a piece of driftwood, she went through four coconuts, then reached out for the fresh coconut sap they had gathered earlier. It went into the baking pit, where…
Korean Vegetable Pancake (Pajeon) (paleo, AIP, vegan)
In the middle of the night, they took the princess – out of the palace, carrying her on their backs until they reached the horses, and then they were galloping through the forest in a devil night devoid of moonlight. The princess was alert, her eyes and ears open, trying to catch sight of the…
Santa’s Shortbread (paleo, AIP, vegan)
Many of us think of Santa as that kind, jolly old soul who appears annually on our doorsteps and chimneys and gives generously from his own plentiful store of toys back at the North Pole. Well, it turns out nothing could be further from the truth. I have recently come upon some troubling documentary evidence…
Holiday Eggnog (paleo, vegan, AIP)
T’was the night before Christmas and all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, except for a mouse, Who felt very hungry and wanted a treat, And went to the pantry where he found some meat, “That’s not what I want!” said the mouse to himself, Wiped the ham off his paws and went…
Baked Apples with Coconut Crème Anglaise (paleo, AIP, vegan)
“Galahad! Oh, Galahad!” cried Lancelot. “What’s up, kickass knight man?” said Galahad. “I want to have a party!” “A party?” “Yes! A party! To celebrate my impending nuptials with Guinevere.” “I thought Guinevere was married to Arthur.” “No, that’s only in the movie version. In real life Guinevere is really in love with me.” “Do…
Chocolate/Carob Frozen Bananas with Pistachios/Coconut (paleo/AIP, vegan)
The other day I was walking down the boardwalk when I saw a monkey throwing a banana. “Hey monkey,” I said. “Why are you wasting a perfectly good banana?” The monkey looked at me and bared its teeth. “No garnish,” it said. “Excuse me?” “BANANA. HAS. NO. GARNISH!” It then pitched a banana at me,…
Holiday Mince Pies (paleo, AIP, vegan)
The snow fell onto the ice rink, shadowed by pine trees. Grinning at each other, the boy and girl scraped their skates on the ice. “Go!” shouted a neutral arbiter, and the two racers shot off towards the far side of the rink. They didn’t stop there, but looped around the rink, cutting grooves around their…
Kabocha Squash Biscuits (paleo, AIP, vegan)
It was Squash the Squash Biscuit Day in Giantland, and Wilfred the Giant was jumping up and down and rattling loose great boulders down the mountainside, so excited was he to begin the squash squashing festivities. You see, it all began 600 and 50 million years ago, when Giants first discovered giant squashes in Giantland….
Autumn Pumpkin Cheesecake (paleo, AIP, vegan)
The children were out in full force on the Heath homestead, ordered from shortest to tallest, Maisie holding a cantaloupe-sized pumpkin, James a jack-o’lantern variety, Kate a watermelon-sized one, and Gerald a 10-pound monster too big to fit a stockpot. “Over here!” yelled James, dropping his pumpkin on the ground as he stumbled upon a twisted…
Black Sesame Plum Cake with Cherry Jam (paleo, vegan)
The tart lay in pieces on the floor, its crunchy crust clove in two, sweet potato filling cloying in a gory mess to the kitchen tiles. “The Desserterer has struck again,” said the Chief of police, shaking his head morosely. The Detective scribbled something on a notepad. “You see that?” he said, pointing to where…
Purple Sweet Potato Haupia Pie (paleo, AIP, vegan)
Jake opened the sliding door and stepped out onto the hotel room balcony. The sun had just set, and purple clouds were hovering over the horizon, bordered on both sides by the bay’s looming cliffs. He leaned against the railing and looked down at the tiki-lit esplanade four stories below, at waiters in white jackets…
Chestnut Brownies (paleo, vegan)
Mr. Chipmunk shivered to himself in the brisk autumn air. The Meeting had been a harried affair, the shouts and cries of angry colony chipmunks still ringing in his ears, proclaiming doom and gloom, a never-ending battle over division of this year’s chestnut supply and the Great Human Problem. Mr. Chipmunk had had enough. He…
Rum Sunbutter Cups (paleo, vegan)
“Boom ba da boom boom!” Ernest looked up from his drum over to where the other gorillas were packing up their mallets and drumsticks. “That’s it for tonight, guys,” yelled Bert, the bandleader. “Practice tomorrow, same time.” “Hey Ernie, you joining us at the Jungle Room for drinks? It’s mojito night,” said Phil. Ernest shook his…
