Once again it is 2058, the year of the Great Bagel Famine and concurrently also the year of the Great Dairy Famine. Most of the cows have just given up at this point. They are too nutrient-deprived to produce milk, as are all other milk-producing animals (‘cept humans, thanks to some handy bio-engineering). As a…
Bagels! (paleo, AIP)
The date is 2058 – the year the history annals will know as the Great Bagel Famine. In this year widespread grain shortages, striking artisan bakers, and growing intolerance in the general population lead to a vast drop in bagel production. The industry is truly disrupted, with magical dough rings and lox-caper vehicles disappearing off the…
Cassava Gnocchi (paleo, AIP, vegan)
Gnocchi are low-key The slightest bit oak-y Not really smoky But fun to go poke-y Rustic and folk-y The slightest bit hokey They go with enoki Won’t make you get croaky Best have some before you go sing karaoke So say okie dokie And eat lots of gnocchi! (Okay I’m out. Next week: gnocchi…
Bulgogi (Korean marinated BBQ ribeye, paleo, AIP)
They continued on their way, moving swiftly, pursued by the King and the Prime Minister’s men. As they went north, the land grew increasingly rocky and mountainous, and soon they were in the highlands, breathing in the thin air of snowy peaks, looking at tiny temples and villages miles below. Intent on getting more clarity…
Bulgogi Japchae (Korean noodle dish, paleo, AIP)
They travelled fast through the long night. It was their best opportunity to put as much space as possible between them and the palace before the King and the others had awoken from their opium-induced stupor, in time to give orders for the pursuit. They had fled through the system of underground tunnels, of which…
Korean Beef Patties (paleo, AIP)
The Princess awoke the next morning wondering if her activities of the night before had in fact been just a dream. She found herself glancing over to where she had lifted the floorboards, but in the daylight everything looked normal. She drank her tea and ate her morning rice cakes, resisting the urge to run…
Valentine’s Day Pomegranate Cookies (paleo, AIP, vegan)
Roses are red Violets are blue Of course I must alter This poem for you Valentine’s Day Comes once a year Drinking and dining Our theme is good cheer Who cares if you’re single? Fear not love is blind We’re all human creatures Part of the hive mind Thus love exists truly For one and…
Potstickers! (paleo, AIP)
The Princess rolled over on her silk bed mat, and stared again at the letter in her hand. She should have destroyed it, to be safe – but it was cryptic enough that only she and the rebels would be able to decipher the instructions. And so – even though its contents were now indelibly…
Cranberry Scones (paleo, AIP)
Elizabeth, Peter, Mary, and Arnold stood around the banister of the great house, peering through the rails at Mrs. Guernsey and the other adult boarders congregated in the dining room for Christmas dinner. “You’d think they could have let us eat together,” said Peter, with a sniff. “At least we could have sat in the…
Gingerbread People (paleo, AIP, vegan)
Once upon a time, Ethel the gingerbread woman lived with her gingerbread husband, Lester, in a small gingerbread house on the outskirts of Ginger Village. In most gingerbread families, the husband took care of the baking and childrearing, and Ethel and Lester were no exception. While Ethel went off to the bakery each morning, Lester…
Roast Brussel Sprouts with Grapes, Fig Jam, & Coconut Mint Yogurt (paleo, AIP, vegan)
Unbeknownst to many, the Brussel sprout is not, actually, a sprout, but rather is a variety of the “Urk” tree, originating in the rotating cloud isles of Papadapum. Papadapum, that mysterious sky colony of miniature states, exists somewhere in the nethersphere above, that’s right, the Netherlands. The Netherlands of course is the No. 1 global…
Cassava Latkes with Applesauce & Coconut Sour Cream (paleo, AIP, vegan)
Cassava latkes Wrapped in lace Set out for an occasion Festive holidays Sprinkled with green Festooned with cream Spinning and twirling A starch lover’s dream Fragrant applesauce bubbles on the stove Cinnamon and cardamom and essence of clove Apple and cassava, nature’s baklava, United through the tempering of coconut and guava Just kidding, no guava,…
Fig Newtons (paleo, AIP, vegan)
Once upon a time three little pigs lived in a house made of straw, sticks, and reinforced concrete. They were very happy in their sturdy little home and regularly had the pot going over the fire to boil up tasty stews and veggies for their midday meals. One day in the middle of one such…
