In the days before Razkook and Azkook were tamed by the scrumptious shortbread of a feisty Scottish granny, they had quite a few run-ins with wannabe princes attempting to prove their honor and save various princesses from dragon hostagedom. If the princes had actually done their homework, they would have discovered that, in fact, there were no princess hostages as the dragons were quite prompt in eating all and any human prey—princess or otherwise—they captured while it was still fresh. The dragons considered prompt consumption necessary to both deter would-be rescuers and ensure optimal nutrient delivery (fyi, according to my conversations with Razkook and Azkook, human meat tends to degrade if not eaten immediately, although that didn’t prevent them from laying up a solid store of frozen limbs and people jerky for the long Scottish winters – better stale than nonexistent, as the saying went).
But I’m getting off track here. This story relates to one particular prince – a Prince Magorn, who was 1) actually a prince and 2) curious to see the dragons not so much because he wanted to rescue an imaginary princess and thereby prove his courageousness, but because he was actually a fan of all things dark and gothic and from a young age had been obsessed with dragon lore. So, one day, bedecked in swords and jewels from the castle, he set out on his Shetland pony for the northern cliff of the mountain where Razkook and Azkook lived.
Upon arrival at the lair, he was met with a warm welcome – literally, the dragons breathed fire in his face. But instead of rearing up on his steed and brandishing his sword as the other princes had been wont to do, Magorn merely patted his Shetland pony on the head, sent it back down the mountain, and said, with a great degree of admiration, “Gee, I always wondered if you guys actually breathed fire. It’s SO COOL that you do!”
Both dragons blushed. Azkook snorted out some soot and turned an even deeper crimson.
“Do you really think it’s cool?” asked Razkook, glaring at Azkook for his etiquette transgression. “Most humans we run into act like it’s this crazy, horrible thing.”
“Of course it’s cool!” exclaimed the Prince. “I used to be impressed by fire eaters at carnivals…but that’s NOTHING compared to actually breathing fire! Plus, I have to tell you, as much as I abhor violence and like creation and all that, my destructive side really thrills to see vast amounts of the countryside lit up when you guys are out doing your business.”
“Right?!” said Azkook. “Plus it’s good for forest regrowth. Most people don’t know that.”
“Even better!” exclaimed Magorn. “It honestly seems like a vastly underappreciated talent to me.”
“You’re very kind,” said Razkook. “It’s a shame that we have to eat you.”
Magorn shrugged. “I’d love to hang out with you both a bit longer before you do, and hear some stories of the old dragons.”
The dragons’ beady eyes lit up. “You like our legends?”
“Love ‘em,” said Magorn. “So much better than human ones. Juicy and magic-filled.”
“We’d love to tell them to you. We so rarely get an audience. But if we keep you alive, that still doesn’t solve what to do about lunch.”
Magorn snapped his fingers. “I know. I have some lamb pies in my bag. Why don’t you give them a try? They’re quite good and filling.” Actually Magorn had come prepared with about 550 lamb pies in his bag, which he’d estimated, with the help of the castle cooking company, would be enough to satisfy two hungry dragons.
Azkook’s eyes lit up. “I love lamb. And pie.”
“Well, there you go,” said the Prince. “Have at them.”
NOM. Hello hearty umami bomb.
The dragons snapped up the lamb pies, and the Prince settled down, ready to hear some good dragon yarns right from the source. And so he did, for a solid couple hours, until the dragons’ satiety began to wear off. At that point the Prince decided it would be best to sneak off while the dragons were slumbering, seeing as how he didn’t really care to be eaten. He was back in a couple weeks with another 550 pies and soon became a regular visitor to the dragons’ lair – their only human contact who lived to tell the tale, directly to your humble narrator, as it turns out. 😉
- Filling
- 1-2 lb meat
- 1 onion, minced
- 4 cloves garlic, minced
- 1 tb olive oil, duck fat, or lard
- 2 tb each of chopped rosemary, sage, & parsley
- 1 tsp sea salt
- 1 tb fresh lemon juice or apple cider vinegar
- Crust
- 1.75 c cassava flour
- ½ c tigernut flour
- ½ - 1 tsp sea salt
- ¾ c cold leaf lard
- ½-3/4 c ice-cold water
- For the full recipe, check out Best of Flash Fiction Kitchen, available here.
I filled this guy with some leftover filling juice mixed with gelatin for those looking to go even more traditional i.e. think aspic.
This post has been shared on Phoenix Helix’s Paleo AIP Roundtable.
Wonderful piece. Love the legend. It’s so good it must be true and these pies look mighty tasty. I could probably eat 550 myself! Recipe seems easily accessible, even for occasional cooks like myself!
Haha thanks so much Sherry! Love your blog btw, looking forward to reading more of your stories!
Hi Julie,
GREAT Story. Looking forward to getting the time to make these beauties. Its been a looong time between pies.
Thanks Tanya! No one should have to go more than a year without pie, if you ask me. 😉 Have fun making them!
Wow! These look Devine…been needing pie in my life since starting AIP. Can’t wait to try these….what would you recommend as a replacement for lard please 🙂
Many thanks
Thanks Mahsa! You could try beef tallow or another animal fat (duck), or it you want a veggie alternative you could try an AIP shortening or coconut oil. Texture may be a bit different but should still taste good!
I just bought duck fat today cause it was on special at my local supermarket….. i am going to try and make these for my kids for school
Can you freeze uncooked rolls and cooked ones ?
Yes to both! And duck fat is amazing 🙂
I cannot get tigernut flour where I am. Any chance I can just sub more cassava flour?
Hi Skip – cassava flour on its own will be a bit brittle/different texture, but still tasty – I would try to cut it with a different flour (either some tapioca/arrowroot starch, or something like plantain or water chestnut flour if you have access to them…and if you can do nut flours, almond flour might be the best substitute for tigernut). Good luck!
Do you think I could use ghee in this recipe in place of the lard in the crust?
Ooh yes good idea! The texture will be a little different a la butter vs. lard pie crust but it’ll prob taste delicious!
Australia is renowned for its meat pies and my husband and son both love a good meat happy so I’m really happy to have an AIP one that I can share with them. Only thing is I can’t do pork, apparently my body doesn’t play well with anything porcine! Yes I know, no bacon etc etc etc! I’ve learned to cope!! Was wondering if vegetable shortening would be a good subsitute
Yes I don’t see why not! You might also give beef tallow a try, if you can tolerate it – and some people have also tried coconut oil. Might be a bit less flaky but should still be tasty…good luck! 🙂
This, along with your sausage pies looks incredibly delish. Unfortunately I don’t handle cassava flour well…. Are there any AIP compliant substitutions you would recommend? It’s been quite a challenge finding bread and crust recipes that don’t call for cassava. I’m willing to try just about anything at this point!
Hi Lisa – how do you fare with tigernut on its own? If you can tolerate some tigernut, you could sub out the cassava with a mix of starches like tapioca/arrowroot, a bit of coconut, and/or some plantain or water chestnut flour. Taro & breadfruit flour are two other alternatives that are hard to find but which I’m hoping will come onto the market soon. But if you can find plantain, plantain + tigernut might be your best bet. Hope it works out!
Wow, this crust was really really good. I used ghee instead of lard and made one big pie instead of small ones to reduce the crust-to-filling ratio (try to avoid flours and such). For the filling I did lamb and beef and veggies.
I want to try kidney but I am not living alone right now and I am a bit intimidated by people saying that the smell is awful when cooking with kidney. So question: does cleaning (Youtube tutorial basically said cut in half and take out the white bits) the kidney eliminate the smelly bits? How did you prep the kidney?
Yay so glad you liked it! As for kidney, I didn’t find it to be particularly smelly or rank, compared to other meat or offal (I’d say liver/tripe/tongue are all more offensive, for instance), but I did have some pretty nice pastured kidneys so I’m not sure if that helped. Also I was lazy and didn’t really bother to take out the white bits, but I don’t think they’re what would smell either. I basically just chopped everything and threw it in…if it helps at the time I had 4 roommates (2 vegetarian) and no one complained/seemed to mind 😉 Once you chop kidney it looks/smells like most other raw meat, in my experience.
Any idea if this crust can be frozen raw and thawed for use? Or do you know how long it will be okay in the fridge?
Hi Skip, yes it can be frozen raw and thawed for use (might be a little less workable than when fresh, but I’ve done it before). It should be good in the fridge for around a week or so.
I substituted duck fat for leaf lard and it was a disaster. ? Don’t make my mistake!
Your meat pies look so good and I’d love to be able to enjoy hearty, traditional dinners like these again, but I’m an absolute beginner in baking, I’ve definitely never baked before with alternative flours, and I’m totally confused as to how to execute all the different steps in this recipe. For instance, is the ball we form out of the mixture in step 3 supposed to be smooth and firm and hold easily together? Does “very squishy” mean wet? Is it essential to refrigerate the dough if you’ve got the filling already made? Do you bake the circles of dough in the muffin tin with or without the parchment paper? Is the end product supposed to taste and look exactly like a normal mince pie? Does what applies to conventional pie-making apply to pie-making with these kind of flours? I’m just so lost. I haven’t been able to find any information online explaining this. Do you know a place where I can begin?
Maybe try easier recipes (like the Korean pancake on this site) before starting on pastries made with alternative flours. They are tricky to master given that all flour brands/types respond differently. But ALL dough needs to be refrigerated before baking to stop it from shrinking as much during baking. Silicone muffin tin = no parchment required but if you grease muffin tins well you can still use without parchment. All fillings normally need to be well cooled before putting into pastry lined tins or pastry will go soggy before it’s had a chance to bake. These rules apply to all pastry making. Look on Pinterest for basic how to’s first and return to this and other websites for compliant recipes as required. It is confusing when you start out, but trying one recipe each week or so using the compliant ingredients you have on hand is a great place to start. Fortunately with cooking it is only limited by your enthusiasm, what you’ve got on hand and your time. Don’t stress over things that don’t turn out, rarely is anything inedible, just different to what was planned. This probably won’t taste like a regular meat pie but it will taste better coz you’re using whole foods with no fillers or questionable ingredients. I’m making these pies this weekend n putting in beef, chopped veges n minced mushroom (I’ve got a child that hates mushroom so I hide it).
I can’t get this crust to work. It turns out way too crumbly. I think it’s my cassava flour. What kind did you use?