“Hey Dad,” said Igor, as they floated through space. “Thanks for organizing this trip. It’s even better than our first one.”
“My pleasure,” said Dad, as Igor’s little brother ran up and down the spaceship.
“Wheeeeee!!!” shouted Freddie, sliding on his protruding green tummy and banging his nose against the glass.
“Careful son – you don’t want to over-exert before we get to Titan. You can run around all you like there.”
Freddie paused his traverses and began hopping up and down like a greased green piston.
Igor grinned. “Look over there, Freddie,” he said, pointing out the window to where Jupiter’s enormous mass was spinning and hurling gaseous fireballs into its own atmosphere. “See that great red spot there in the middle?”
Freddie’s eyes bulged and he nodded.
“Guess what it’s called.”
Freddie stared at Igor expectantly.
“It’s called, the ‘Great Red Spot.'” Freddie wrinkled his nose, and Igor burst out laughing.
“I woulda called it something better. Like…like…the Devil’s Eye Ball!” announced Freddie.
“Hey that’s pretty good. What about…Hell’s Kitchen?”
“Or ‘Goodness, gracious, Great Balls of Fire’!?” added Dad. The boys giggled.
All of a sudden, something appeared in the viewfinder.
“Now, what can that be?”
They gathered close to each other and gazed out the window.
“Asteroids?” asked Igor.
His dad shook his head. “Too small and too close together to be asteroids. No, it looks more like space debris.”
Suddenly a brown, wrinkled object shot past the bow of the ship.
“Shoot!” said Dad, jumping to the controls and steering the spaceship as more pieces of debris shot past them. “They’ll pierce the hull at this rate!”
Sample asteroid debris. (Turns out they’re edible. And delicious.)
Igor and Freddie sucked in their breaths and watched as Dad ducked and cajoled the old spaceship under and around a slew of tan projectiles. When they had cleared the debris field, they turned around and let out a collective exhale. A shadow fell across the floor of the spaceship. They looked up, right into the belly of an enormous asteroid, full of holes and craters and covered in tiny moving machines.
“What are those?” asked Igor.
“Ugh,” scoffed Dad. “New human mining outfits. Well, that explains all the space garbage.”
Freddie’s mouth dropped open. “What are the humans doing on the asteroid, Dad?”
“Pilfering resources, I assume. There should be a law against it, if you ask me.”
Suddenly the intercom buzzed. “It’s Mom,” said Igor, looking at the spaceship caller ID.
“Time to go, kids,” said Dad. “Mom will be on Titan already. Do me a favor and don’t tell her about that debris field, okay? She’ll just get mad and make me file a complaint with the Intergalactic Space Bureau.”
As Dad set the warp drive for Titan, Igor sat back and watched the field of scattered asteroid cores disappear behind them. Part of him was amazed that humans could change the universe just like that…but then he imagined the future, debris fields everywhere, clogging up the intergalactic warp drives and causing all sorts of problems. I really hope they know what they’re doing, he thought to himself, as he snuggled up next to Freddie for a nap.
[To Be Continued…]
- 2 heads of garlic
- ¼ c cassava flour, ¼ c tigernut flour, ¼ c tapioca flour/arrowroot starch or any combo of 2 of the listed flours
- ½ c coconut milk or water
- ½ tsp sea salt
- 1 tb olive oil
- 1 c of coconut oil (V), lard, avocado oil, or mixture of your preferred high smoke point oils
- AIP mayo or coconut aminos for dipping
- Peel and slice garlic.
- Mix flours, milk/water, salt, and olive oil together until a pancake-like batter forms. Dip sliced garlic pieces in mixture.
- Heat up oil/s in a deep heavy-bottomed pot or deep fryer. When oil is medium hot (~350 degrees Fahrenheit), place first batch of battered garlic chips in pot (around 5-8, depending how big). Fry for around 3 minutes, or until chips are nicely browned. Remove with slotted spoon or spider strainer, and drain.
- Serve with coconut aminos and/or AIP mayo.
This post has been shared on Phoenix Helix’s Paleo-AIP Roundtable.
Generally speaking, I’m not one to leave comments (perhaps questions, but not comments) prior to trying a recipe; however, this one in particular is making my mouth water and prompting dreams of a gluten-free kombucha & spirits bar! Sounds delicious!
I’ve been eyeballing these on Instagram all week, leaving big puddles of drool as I gawk at the garlicky goodness. This is totally my kind of snack, I eat roasted garlic like candy! I’m making these and your onion rings when I pick up some tigernut flour. Why haven’t I done that yet?!!!
You are speaking my language! One of the things I miss most on AIP is salty, crunchy snacks…these look perfect! Plus, I am a garlic fiend ?
Thanks Cindy! And me too! Not enough fried garlic on menus if you ask me 😉